Category: Life

No amount of research or crowd polling or envisioning will ever replace first-hand experience. Sure, buy travel guides and reference materials and inquire of those who have walked your desired path, but expect to forge new trails when you take the plunge—it’s just the nature of life.

And while you’re at it, a helpful perspective shift might involve moving from “what can I learn before doing this that would mitigate my risk?” to “what can I do to share the most valable insight from this experience to those who need it most?”

Because with that simple switch, you’ve become a leader. Someone we look to and look up to and need.

You might not be the first, but you can certainly be the best.

Desperation is detected immediately by anyone who has spent any length of time doing anything of substance (how’s that for a far-reaching opener?) You do your reputation a disservice by not operating from a position of power and abundance. I realize you may not always have this luxury, but you do have control over the signal you communicate.

And that’s what this is about: the subtext of your request or message. The subtle indicators to prospective employers and vendors that you’re not prone to making bad choices, or waiting until the last minutes to ask for help, or that they’ll regret being generous.

I think the power posture™ here is sending the message that you have options, you have a discerning eye for value, you know your worth, and you’ve come to the purposeful conclusion that partnering with a business or person of a particular type is likely to result in a mutually beneficial arrangement for all parties involved.

“Need X ASAP, plz get in touch!” isn’t going to cut it.

Why do we wait until we’re fired or broken up with or publicly humiliated before learning the lessons we need to learn?

It’s easy to develop a new perspective once the rug has been pulled from under us. It’s far more noble to be present and grateful and conscientious every day.

I spent some of my Saturday taking care of things I could/should have taken care of earlier in the week. So instead of spending the (beautiful) day as I saw fit, I was playing catch up against a deadline. Trivial as it relates to my day, but quite significant if this reflects a pattern of behavior.

The higher the stakes, the higher the potential price to pay. Avoiding bills will result in some predictable outcomes, as will neglecting to handle administrative tasks in your business. That’s not what I’m talking though, those consequences are obvious.

What we might not think about is the price we pay for not learning lessons the first time we’re faced with them. Example: if a customer responds to your pitch unfavorably, you can either continue trying your same pitch on others, hoping it will eventually work for someone…or you could relentlessly deconstruct and test your approach.

Refusing to learn lessons is dangerous and unwise, for obvious reasons and because we will never know how much [insert something you value] we lose by not learning sooner.

There are two options, as I see it: you can either spend your time embracing reality or rejecting it.

One path walks the line between a cynic and a realist, relentlessly rejecting the lies people tell (to themselves and others) about the way things are and the way things could be. The other path rejects what’s known on the quest to realize what’s possible.

I don’t think either path is superior, although the latter is glamorized a bit in our society. What I endeavor to avoid is taking on characteristics of both that result in an unsavory character (think: deluded cynic).

A recurring theme among people who have a lot more money and influence than I do is relentlessness. New Years Resolutions and changes made in a huff and diets don’t really work because they’re typically short-lived.

A habit that becomes a lifestyle that becomes a part of who you are is what matters, not the flavor of the week. I’m talking to myself when I say: commit to it (insert your own “it”), full-assed, and never give up.

The more I attend events in my neighborhood, the more I grow to appreciate it. The charm of certain intersections and building becomes apparent, and it feels more like “home” every week. I guess it might as well, right?

I notice similar feelings related to web communities that play a role in my life as well. When I built websites for a living, I discovered the Thesis community and met some really great people, many of whom have grown to become close friends.

The same goes for the WordPress community. The WordCamp events I’ve attended have put faces to names, made the web smaller, and fostered a sense of community among those who would otherwise interact online.

I went to Mexico with a group of friends in January, and I grew much closer to each of them as a result. Almost too close (smile). And I recall work outings that have had a similar effect — the camaraderie can’t be replaced by trips to the snack machine or Starbucks.

Because of how far away from the city (center) I lived when I was in Atlanta, I never got as involved in some things as I otherwise would have. And despite the fact that I’m now in a city with eight million people, but I feel more connected than ever before.

I guess what I’m getting at is how important it is to close the laptop and interact with other humans in your community. Whatever you community is.

When you’re working towards a worthwhile and challenging goal, it’s hard to see what the vision looks like until you make a concerted effort, sight unseen.

Put simply, you can’t see what you’ve never seen until you do what you’ve never done.

I’m a firm believer that you can succeed not just by being remarkable, but by simply nailing the fundamentals consistently.

While others are caught up in trends and pivots and re-alignments, consider doing a good job, consistently.

You’ll outlast most just by showing up every day.

I discovered by accident how powerful writing down my beliefs can be. When I used to do freelance design and development work, clients used to reach out by saying “I love [something from my about page or a random post]!”

It gave them something to identify with, a sense of shared purpose and trust. Similar to how putting your interest at the bottom of a resume is recommended in case the reviewer also likes to ride horses or jump out of airplanes.

The queen of this is probably Amber Rae, who lives life out loud in a way that causes causes others to gravitate toward her in droves. Droves, I tell you.

Living with conviction brings others into your gravity, and making a habit of sharing your perspective creates magic. People are looking for something to believe in, and I’d be thrilled if that something came from you.