Category: Life

After spending a month on the road, I’m thrilled to be back in New York. Riding the subway is now second nature, but it never fails to inject a bit of excitement into the day’s travels.

When utilizing public transportation in NYC, you are face to face with humanity. Tall, short, black, white, rich, poor, skinny, and fat are all crammed into seats together.

A man stepped onto the subway the other night and explained that he wasn’t hungry, but that he was homeless. He needed a little money, and had a very warm disposition.

He then shared that he was HIV positive and had full-blown AIDS.

Was he lying? I have no idea. Was it at best uncomfortable and at most terrifying? Absolutely.

So what do you do? Give him money? Ignore him and try to act like he doesn’t exist?

Convince yourself that it’s not your job to sponsor his Subway Healthcare Plan™ and that he’d get what he needs by the end of the night?

Why does it take someone breaking the proverbial ice and contributing for others to feel empowered to do so?

Why doesn’t anyone talk about how to handle situations like this, or the method by which the right decisions in times like this are made?

I wish I had an answer, but I struggle with these things.

There are a couple ways to prepare for the last few seconds of a basketball game.

One way is to practice shooting the game-winning shot from various positions on the court, over and over, under the most challenging circumstances you can simulate. Off-balance, fatigued, one-handed, falling out of bounds, with your non-dominant hand, etc.

You could practice catching alley-oop passes, rehearse special plays with your team, try to improve your vertical leap every month, work on your explosiveness, and study the ball-handling greats for ideas on how to move the ball towards the basket using various tricks to baffle your opponents (and delight the crowd).

Or you could focus on playing a strong four quarters so none of those things are needed.

I watched this accident happen yesterday:

The driver was fine (and actually crawled through the windshield as I was approaching on foot), but the whole ordeal made me think about the impermanence and fragility of life.

The text messages sent before leaving the house, calls he made while driving, and thoughts he held captive before the accident were almost his last.

I wonder if they would have represented him well…if people would say that he lived a good life, and if there are lots of people who would miss him.

I wonder if he had kids whose life almost changed, and how his version of the story will be next year when he sits around the Christmas tree with his loved ones.

I wonder if he knows that his (near) tragedy is causing me to be more present and aware and grateful for life right now.

I’ve really grown to despise the idea of “going with the flow” in my old age.

Things that make me particularly rage-y:

• Students staying in school to get additional degrees because they haven’t taken the time to think about what they want to do
• People who remain in jobs they hate, not because they’re providing for their family or because of a particular financial need, but because it’s what they’re used to
• Employees ceding more and more control of their lives (staying late, working on “off” days, taking work home with them) at the expense of their happiness, simply because it is requested of them
• “Lovers” who stay in unhappy or unhealthy relationships out of habit
• People devoting their entire life to a field or career that’s of no interest to them, simply because there was a convenient “in”

I guess this stems from my desire for everyone to get what they deserve out of life. The older I get the more I realize that many (most) Americans live a partially-realized version of the life they may or may not have imagined at one time when they were younger.

And now for a tangent

It makes me want to throw chairs and medium-sized objects when I hear of someone not bothering to negotiate their salary after a company makes an offer.

There’s this sinister, irrational fear that the employer will respond by saying, “We’re so offended that you asked for an additional $10,000, we are no longer interested in hiring you. You are actually going to be unemployed forever and die in a van by the river now.”

The truth is that in situations like that, the best thing a new hire can do for their career is make it clear that they know what they’re worth and that they demand respect.

I used to work myself into a frothy lather when sharing the above sentiments with my friends, and the phrase (which I may come to regret publishing here) is, “Too much bending over leads to a bad back.”

You deserve the very best.

Act like it.

Please.

I have a friend who will get excited about an idea and work 14 hour days for a week until he’s happy with the progress made. I have another friend who won’t make small changes (that will grow his business and careers) to save his life, despite there being the resources and support necessary to influence (and sustain) the changes.

People who prepare, research, and plan (without taking action) are in some ways the opposite of people who ship, fail, iterate aggressively enough to find success. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with preparation, research, and planning…but I know people who have been “preparing to” do/launch/quit/ship a [project/product/job/idea] since I met them.

We all have the capacity to make meaningful behavioral and mindset changes, but the likeliness of us doing this decreases every time we take the easy path. Every time we make a smaller promise in secret, hoping we never fail. Every time we plan for months instead of shipping a Minimum Viable Product.

Not everyone is wired with the habits that bring success, but there’s no law stopping us from emulating effective humans until their positive traits become our own.

Ignorance can be a liability or a powerful asset, depending on how you react to it.

If you’re anything like me, being exposed to new ideas teaches you, if nothing else, how much you truly don’t know. Winners use this to their advantage and approach new concepts with a childlike curiosity, setting their biases and notions aside in favor of exploration on the way of mastery.

What’s dangerous is learning how much you don’t know and remaining content to dwell in the same place. In business, this can cause your company or product to become irrelevant overnight. The broader applications of this complacency are even more dire.

There are different ideas on how to deal with the information available to us, but I think that an insatiable and purposeful curiosity

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

You can only toil in the shadows for so long when doing anything of significance or influence or importance before criticism seeks you out. It might be a mindless remark by a family member or a scathing hit piece in a major publication, but the criticism will find you.

Some people crumble in the face of the slightest criticism, and some thrive in the attention that it brings. Assuming that what you’re doing is something that you believe in and that you also have a worthwhile goal in mind, criticism can often be used as an indicator that you’re on the right track.

It’s probably worth deciding ahead of time how much of it you’re willing to endure before throwing in the towel. I imagine public figures and musicians and Presidential candidates have discussions about such topics before they make decisions impacting their career.

I don’t think there’s any shame in quitting something, generally speaking, but I do think it’s helpful to make as many tough decisions — before you’re forced to — as possible.

• I’m thankful for more work than I can keep up with.
• I’m thankful for clients who teach me just as much as I teach them.
• I’m thankful for a chance to do work that matters every day.
• I’m thankful for the heavy disappointment I feel when I don’t live up to my potential.
• I’m thankful for the beauty and art in the little things.
• I’m thankful for supportive parents.
• I’m thankful for mentors who answer my emails.
• I’m thankful for friends who respect me.
• I’m thankful for clients who value my work, opinion, and expertise.
• I’m thankful for life, health, and strength.
• I’m thankful for the New York City subway system.
• I’m thankful for Haribo Gummi Bears and my boyish good looks.
• I’m thankful that you guys don’t take me too seriously.
• I’m thankful that you read (and share) my posts every day.

…in three simple* steps!

1. Fail more often, more publicly
2. Do the work that no one else is willing to do, more frequently
3. Take on massive amounts of risk that stack the deck against you

* = not easy.

If you look for the good in people, you will find it.

If you share kindness and generosity with the world, you will have a never-ending supply.

If you treat your craft with the sensitivity and spirituality that Steve Pressfield does, it will reward you.

If you desire change and act with boldness when opportunities presents themselves, you will be rewarded with adventure.

If you do the things that terrify you most and cultivate a habit of this, your life will unlock itself.

Don’t take my word for it, though.