When I’m connecting a freelancer with a client or business with whom I have a relationship, I often indicate that the person (or business) is “easy to work with” (if it’s true). This might imply that being easy to work with is a good thing, but I’m not so sure.
In the same way that a resume designed to be used for a dozen job applications makes it a perfect fit for exactly nothing, it’s probably ok to reserve compatibility for an ideal client or consultant. This doesn’t mean that vitriol should be reserved for those you pass over, of course…
There are countless platitudes about how you need to say no to what’s wrong in order to say yes to what’s right (for you), and I think there’s merit to the idea behind that.
I suspect that Jonathan Ive and Steve Jobs bumped heads on more than one occasion, and that they both realized that the juice was worth the squeeze.
I guess what it comes down to is determining what you ideal criteria are, and then working on enhancing the things that give you and your great match the synergy needed to ensure the success of a project.
If this involves a refusal to work with amateurs or a rejection of brown M&M’s, then so be it. Being willing to reject nine losers is the only way to ever find winner number ten.