Category: Uncategorized

I’ll never forget chatting with one of my friends about progress made after a year of working towards self-employment (having successfully made the transition). He expressed a bit of shock and I was surprised — I told him it’s what I wanted to do. His reply when I pointed this out?

“Yeah but most people say they’re going to do this and that. You actually did it.”

And he was right.

It’s not that I did something so remarkable, it’s that I did what I said I’d do.

I was talking to a friend the other night about how you outgrow certain relationships simply because they don’t progress in the direction of your goals. My mentor has been drilling this into me as well.

It isn’t to say that everyone in your life needs to inspire and motivate you, but you certainly can’t do the same thing you’ve always done if you’re serious about growth. How this is manifested in your life is up to you, but it’s never not true and it always matters.

The truth — and I’ve gotten to the point where I view this as neither sad nor upsetting but rather a fact of life — is that most people aren’t going to do what’s required in order to get where they say they want to be. And I think there are a few reasons for this.

Unsurprisingly, the biggest contributor is fear. It’s terrifying to stare opportunity in the face and imagine ourselves winning. What if we succeed? We could be judged by our peers! Who do we think we are? Opting out of a mundane existence and trying to be extraordinary? Sit back down!

One interesting group is the contingent that talks the talk but fools themselves into thinking that they’re living the life they imagine. You’ll see them on every #blogchat and retweeting posts and quotes from social media darlings, but when it comes to shipping the work that terrifies them and sharing their art with the world…crickets.

I don’t point this out to make fun of them, we all have a bit of self-delusion and fear that sabotages us. But it’s important to see things as they really are so we can learn from those who are actually showing up every day, slaying the dragon, and doing the work they were born to do.

It doesn’t matter in the end though, all that matters is what we decide to do.

“The question is, ‘What’s the main difference between a pro and an amateur?’ My answer: depth of commitment.”

-Stephen Pressfield

I’m no longer inclined to push people who don’t ask for my help or go out of my way to help someone who’s trying to find their way. It’s not that I’m any less willing or generous, it’s that 1) people who want to figure something out…will figure it out, and 2) it’s easy to confuse the amassing of tactics with the actual work when you’re stalling. The work is the work.

If you’ve never gone to bed hungry then you might not understand why some people work themselves to the point of exhaustion even once they’ve amassed significant financial resources.

If you’ve never experienced the satisfaction of learning a new skill for the sake of mastery and shipping a project that no one will ever notice or give you credit for, then you will never understand why some people work late into the night and toil on pet projects.

If you’ve never pushed yourself and done the best work of your life on something for reasons unrelated to pride and competition then you’ll never understand how some people can ignore others and show growth in what appears to be a vacuum.

If you’ve never experienced betrayal, heartbreak, jealousy, terror, and rage, then you might not relate to those who warm up to strangers slowly. It’s also possible that you never attended middle school.

And if you view people and events without developing an empathetic view of the world, then you are living life in black and white. The “real world” is strange, beautiful, unpredictable, and fascinating.

No new habits means no new outcomes.

If we’re smart, we’ll never shy away from making decisions. And if we’re really smart, we’ll try to make as many (important decisions) as possible.

Sometimes we’ll make the wrong decision and realize during the course of the failure that the decision was wrong. We may even know what the right answer is and envision ourselves making the right one next time.

But the true test of our learning is being able to determine when it’s worth it to scrap everything and start over. The answer isn’t always obvious.

Reading books and watching movies are two of my favorite pastimes, and I’ve got a few favorites that I return to from time to time. What I love noticing is the new insights I gain on my work and outlook when reading some of the same passages and watching some of the same scenes in my favorites works, years after I’ve initially experienced them.

My current fascination is learning the nature of systems and how simple components fit together to form something complex. This deals with such concepts as purpose, efficiency, adaptability, and interoperability. From bicycles to servers to social science, there are lessons and insights all around us.

Only the focused hours count towards your 10,000.

Going through the motions just wastes your time life.

I’m more convinced than ever that we’re all alike in more ways than we care to admit. What seems to matter most (and what explains our perceived differences) is the lens through which we view the world and the way we decide to reach our goals.

These things are influenced largely by our world view and our peer group but the overriding x-factor is the conscious decision we make to determine where we stand on issues, why we believe what we believe, and whether or not we have the courage to renounce previously held beliefs after developing a clearer perspective on something.

And as it turns out, the people I’ve come to respect most tend to profess a mastery of few things. Instead, they simply share their observations and their personal path to success in their craft and how to reach a particular end based on what has worked for them.

Our diverse views of the world can coexist peacefully if we develop a more empathetic perspective and look first to understand why others have certain viewpoints rather than taking the mental shortcut that is labeling someone and refusing to consider an issue more deeply.

It’s not your job to reject yourself, other people don’t need your help. Your job is to think through how to most effectively communicate and demonstrate your competency.

You can spend time thinking about why you might get turned down, but it should only be in the context of honing your approach.

You’re too smart and resourceful to concern yourself with whether or not a door is locked, your focus should be on where to apply your heel on said door after getting a running start…

I’m an Everlane fan, customer, and unpaid product evangelist.

For Black Friday, they chose not to engage in the madness that is American consumerism:

— BUY LESS, BUY BETTER —

As a business, we appreciate holiday shopping,
but we feel the excess around Black Friday has put
the focus on quantity over quality.

Because we want to help people consume
less by creating fewer, longer lasting products,
we decided to shut down the site today.

Have a wonderful holiday and
we’ll be back tomorrow.

That takes balls. But this message sends a very clear signal to the kind of customers that Everlane is looking to attract.

Among the comments when I posted this on Facebook:

I have been getting their emails for a while but haven’t purchased anything yet. Extra tempted now.

I’ll be buying from them tomorrow 🙂

That is SO cool, and I had never heard of that company. Because of your post, I’m now looking forward to finding out more, tomorrow.

And lots more discussion on Twitter.

To the company that makes 80% of their revenue between Thanksgiving and New Years (not uncommon in retail), this move probably looks like suicide.

But to the company that stands for something and that’s willing to draw a line in the sand, this is a (brilliant) no-brainer that will pay dividends for many weeks and months to come.

“I don’t know what I want to do with my life” is a common statement among my peers who are trying to find their calling. There are all sorts of terrible ways to address this issue, but here’s an approach that might be helpful:

Instead of trying to discover (in a vacuum) what gets you fired up, look back at the jobs you’ve taken and the projects you’ve completed. What are the common themes? And how did you feel?

Working backwards (and skipping over my last job, for reasons that will be clearer in a moment):

1. I used to work in the computer store at FSU. and it was one of the most enjoyable (and only…) jobs I’ve ever had. I enjoyed it because I was interacting with and helping people all the time, discussing technology (which isn’t “work” for me), and there was no rigid structure being forced upon me. My input was valued and proactively solicited. It was great.
2. Before that job, I worked as a server at a restaurant called Hops. Again: people interaction, camaraderie, and being myself.
3. In high school, I worked at a place called Me and Mom’s Produce. No, I’m not typing this with a straight face and yes, that was the actual name of the business. The pay was terrible, but I loved the owners and felt like family.
4. And my first job (back in middle school I think) was as a Jr. Counselor at a summer camp.

So if I wanted to draw some lessons from my own life and I needed to know what I should look for in a vocation that gave me joy, I’d find something that:

1. is people-facing
2. involves people I enjoy working with
3. allows me to leverage my personality to do my job better

All of these jobs helped me hone my soft skills, my ability to connect with strangers, my ability to work under pressure (Saturday nights in a busy restaurant? Man.), and other things that benefit me to this day.

And if I were to ignore these lessons and get a cushy desk job where I interact primarily with spreadsheets and corporate drones, it might not work out so well.

Ignore the lessons staring you in the face at your own peril.