Extremes often come to mind when being radically honest (someone spouse is cheating or you know fraud taking place within your company), but telling a stranger that they have toilet paper stuck to their shoe or declining an invitation because of a lack of interest (rather than a fabricated conflict) would serve everyone more frequently.
Blog
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Big difference
I’m currently in Mexico with some friends celebrating my birthday, not being in Manhattan during winter, and any other excuse we can tack onto that last item.
We’re literally in the middle of the jungle, renting what is essentially a vacation compound that was originally designed for the owner’s family to escape the city (Playa del Carmen). Today, we got to meet him and learned about the history of the place.
The onsite staff is comprised of native Mayans who have been working with the owner for, in some cases, 20 years. The owner values loyalty, the plight of the Mayans, and creating memorable experiences for customers.
When we (a group of people who make our living on the Internet, most of whom live in NYC) shared how much we enjoyed being there, the owner got emotional, nearing the point of tears twice. It means a lot to him that people are enjoying what he’s built and the property obviously has significant sentimental value to him.
This stands in stark contrast to the ruthlessly profit-driven focus that characterizes the NYC entrepreneur stereotype, and it was refreshing.
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Uncertainty and setbacks
I’m more convinced than ever that how a person deals with (and prepares for) uncertainty and setback is an indicator of how effective they will be at their art and craft.
Some of us are naturally resilient and laid back, but this doesn’t mean that people who are naturally anxious and easily flustered can’t thrive under adverse circumstances — they just have to work harder at preparation and prevention.
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There’s more to you
I attended a workshop this past weekend that involved several small public speaking opportunities. On one of my last turns, I performed a poem I wrote back in 2005. It’s a special piece to me, and one that I’m proud of.
The response was overwhelmingly positive, and it felt great sharing it with those who know me just for my marketing and engineering sorcery. (The attendees of the workshop were all friends of mine, but none of them knew about my quasi-artistic past/interest.)
It doesn’t mean that I’ll be publishing poems on the blog every week or that I’m rebranding myself, but being in a posture of facing fears is always the right answer (despite knowing I wasn’t going to be booed off stage, the fear of embarrassment was real).
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Underestimating your influence
I’ve been writing every day for a few months now. Despite my (very) small readership, I’m constantly amused when I hear of friends (and strangers) reading and sharing posts. I don’t write long posts, nor are the topics I deal with particularly complex or original.
But what I’m learning is that none of that matters.
We project meaning and context onto ideas based on the lens through which we view the world. So if something I say — however simplistic — moves someone closer to their goals or provides the push needed in their life, I’d be doing them a disservice by discounting the impact of what I share.
This of course applies to you, too.
So share.
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The obvious unexpected
When dressing for the cold, it’s not the ambient temperature that gets you — it’s the wind. When making projections on your company’s growth (or simply your personal income), it’s not your monthly nut that gets you — it’s needing a new transmission.
When we go into situations looking to be reassured by the best-case scenario, we undermine the very perspective needed to ensure our long-term success. Michael Jordan never prepared for Championship game based on how the Triangle Offense works in the absence of tenacious defenders…
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Not really about the money
Just as important as determining what you can’t afford to do…is realizing what you can’t afford not to do.
There was a time in my life when I lacked the sophistication to make this determination, but the lesson was profound once I understood its importance. On the issues that truly matter, knowing the difference is critical.
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Relentlessness
You can’t afford to rest on your laurels.
It’s not about money or fame or respect, it’s about maintaining an aggressive clip in the never-ending race towards self-improvement. Failure is not the enemy, nor has it ever been. The real enemy is Resistance, cowardice, and complacency.
“Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.”
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Worthwhile characteristics
It’s easy to be tough, angry, sensitive, and mercurial—just move in whatever directions your emotions dictate, and selfishly disregard the consequences of your actions. Loved ones, relationships, and societal pressures (hopefully) teach us to bring these characteristics under control as we get older.
An even greater goal would be learning how to incorporate generosity, thoughtfulness, courage, kindness, and empathy into who we are. Becoming less awful would probably appreciated by our coworkers, but enriching the lives of those around us is far more rewarding.
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Share the Dream
Meet Zintathu.
She lost her parents when she was a child and was raised by her grandmother in a shack in South Africa. Through These Numbers Have Faces, she’s a 3rd year marketing student and empowered to become a leader in her community.
These Numbers Have Faces educates and empowers South African youth to ignite community transformation. Per their website:
Numbers, statistics, figures, and data are important ways to evaluate and measure complex issues like global poverty. But in terms of actually reducing it, we believe transforming statistics into human relationships to be one of the most effective and powerful steps forward. It’s nearly impossible to connect with someone around the world if they are only a number. But when those numbers are turned into real people, we can change the world.
If you click through and the message of the organization resonates with you, consider making a donation. Or if you’re just able to spread the word about the organization, that’s fine too.