Month: July 2013

As I transitioned from Atlanta-based freelancer to New York based freelancer-slash-Domino-Project-accomplice, I noticed my profile growing. From emails to tweets to comments made in person by new acquaintances, people uniformly considered me to be cooler than I was. It was great.

It also became apparent that I could capitalize on the attention to grow my profile at an even greater pace if desired. I was working for one of my heroes, after all! Seth-freaking-Godin! But I decided that I wanted to let my actual accomplishments speak for me rather than the fact that I had been picked.

Well. That’s part of it.

It was a conscious decision, yes, but not one that was solely rooted in modesty: I’m something of an introvert. Not a good one, mind you, as I enjoy and am comfortable with being on stage (literally and figuratively). But an introvert nonetheless, and I have a tendency to downplay things.

I don’t think there’s anything particularly noble about this, and there are certainly cases where unnecessary modesty can be a hinderance to progress. [Particularly in the case of first impressions in a business networking context, quickly demonstrating relevant value can mean the difference between winning a contract or just meeting another person whose name you instantly forgot.]

A friend of mine expressed some regret in not capitalizing on the attention thrust upon he and his wife when they received some national press for winning a contest. Had they jumped head first into the attention with the proper strategy, it probably would have changed their lives. There’s nothing wrong with a little celebrity.

On the other end of the spectrum is people who grow their profile aggressively.

Again, there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but there are certainly ways to get it wrong. I’ve seen this a lot in New York where ambitious acquaintances would leave a trail of bruised feelings in their wake when friends felt used or stepped on/over or outgrown as the next level of success was reached. Not pretty.

I don’t think it’s practical to maintain close personal relationships with everyone you consider a friend, and I also think outgrowing some relationships is a sign of growth. But you do have to remain mindful of how your decisions impact your relationships and reputation, even if your position is indifference.

So again, this isn’t so much a right vs. wrong consideration so much as a series of decisions wherein the methods and motivation matter greatly.

It’s easy to get swept up in the current of the popular opinion. Ideas get passed and retweeted and shared through the social web with very little friction.

But while the majority of the idea-consuming masses race to present the latest regurgitated idea to those whose attention they hold, it’s our responsibility as thinkers and leaders to set the trends that get discussed.

We don’t do this for the sake of being talked about, we do it because we must. Who better than you?

When I observe the technologies and inventions that are moving industries forward, it’s evident that intense next-order critical thinking has taken place.

Your ideas might need to incubate and develop in a way that prevents you from publishing a quick tweet or status update about it, but that’s the point.

Pillars, not pebbles.

The difference between good writing and great writing is dramatic.

Putting together words on a page isn’t particularly challenging, but making words leap from a page and transporting the reader to the destination of your choice requires both a strong command of language and thousands of hours of practice.

I can tell when I’m in the flow of good writing because it feels less like tapping keys and more like playing an instrument. Ideas take shape and get chiseled into prose with what feels like effortless, dancing keystrokes. And the editing process feels less like work and more like polishing.

This isn’t to say that I’ve arrived as a writer, but I can certainly see improvement over the years. As a matter of fact, I cringe when reading some of my old posts so perhaps I’ve gone from abysmal to decent. Growth is growth, leave me alone.

Artists who have mastered their craft take the mechanics of their work and create an experience with it. Atop the mechanics sit passion and empathy and storytelling and taste and style.

Unnecessary elements are removed (or never get included) so once the finished product is shipped, the signal is clear and makes contact with the world in a powerful way.

Your taxi driver probably didn’t wake up envisioning life as someone who shuttled busy humans from destination to destination. It’s both possible that they fell into the job one day and stuck with it…or that they never dreamed of having the honor of meeting so many new people while earning a living wage. The point is that we don’t know.

The barista rolling their eyes at your fancy latte order might not just be another entitled millennial, they could be emotionally precluded from serving you because of issues at home. We don’t know if she’s working to put herself through community college and helping to supplement the income of a broken home and an injured guardian.

The customer interested in your product probably has very little interest in your product because you decided to use node.js and coffeescript, they might just be looking to increase their revenues in order to pay into their child’s college fund.

The Apple Store customer service representative did not wake up this morning determined to solve your problems, nor do they care that you’re spending money that you didn’t anticipate shelling out in order to obtain a replacement iPhone.

The person who fails to hold the elevator for you might not have seen you coming, and they certainly aren’t aware that you’re running late for an important meeting after getting a terrible night’s sleep.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
—?

No one really cares about what’s going on in your life, people are self-interested above all things. Once we accept this fact and develop a sensitivity to it, the better we can navigate interactions with other humans.

In college I used to read this book repeatedly, and it had a profound impact on both my academic and professional trajectory. I learned to speak and think in terms of what others wanted, and there were few doors that didn’t open for me as a result of it.

Cultivating this empathy informs everything from my sales copy to how I write here on the blog to how I make conversation with strangers. I don’t possess too many special talents but if there’s one skill I’ve tried to hone over the years that I’ve found to be valuable, it’s this.

I really can’t afford not to be good at this, and neither can you.

Much of my non-technical reading is geared towards personal improvement and expanding my thinking. Whenever there’s a lapse in my reading or habits that drive me forward, my awareness is re-awakened to the fact that there’s so much that I’m not doing.

This touches everything from how I’m communicating with customers to how I’m goal-setting to how I’m thinking about problems to how I relate to the world around me. There are emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual implications.

This brings me to the idea of my “resting rate of improvement” which predictably drops to zero when I fall out of the habit of [insert habit that moves me towards my goals].

And the point of all this is to 1) reach a level of progress and improvement below which I never fall and 2) reduce the likelihood that I fall off the horse in the first place.

[You could also make the case for a third item, which would be mitigating the impact of the second item, and how to lose as few cycles as possible in the interim.]