Category: Life

I moved into a new apartment this past weekend.

As I sat double-parked and preparing to unload the vehicle (which has a Georgia tag), a gentleman pulled up beside me and motioned for me to roll down my window.

(I was exhausted, slightly stressed from the move, and a bit concerned that I wasn’t leaving enough room for people to pass on the left, just to give you some context.)

“Hey man, when are you going back down to Atlanta?”

I was not in the mood.

I assumed that he was a stereotypical, quick-tempered New Yorker popping off at the mouth and encouraging me to leave his fine city on account of my stellar parking.

“In two weeks!” I said, mainly to avoid further confrontation. I’m a generally laid back guy and slow to anger, but my fatigue made him a fabulous candidate for my wrath if I decided to unleash it on someone (smile).

He muttered something implying that I was blowing him off (which surprised me because I was, for what I thought might have been an obvious reason) and drove forward. As he pulled off, I noticed his Dekalb County license plate, which indicated that he was from a suburb of Atlanta.

Whoops.

As it turns out, he was just a nice guy making a genuine inquiry as to when I’d be making another trip back to Atlanta — a very southern thing to do, and something to which I would have responded positively under different circumstances.

Being a product of the southeast, I have a generally warm and friendly disposition. I haven’t lost that since moving to NYC in January, but I definitely temper it with some skepticism in light of my new fast-paced surroundings.

I’m glad I didn’t respond more angrily than I did, but I can’t help but wince at how I reacted. Sometimes we make decisions based on the best information available to us, and sometimes we still miss the mark.

I’ll try harder.

One of the most exciting things to watch over the past year has been the incredible power of connections. My network now includes some people who I respect and admire and looked up to (from a distance) years ago. The funny thing is, it’s been a completely natural and organic process.

Under these circumstances (nice events, associating with quasi-celebrities, the opportunity to be seen and noticed by many), you start to seeing what people are made of. The ambitions that lie beneath the surface, and the lengths to which people will go to satisfy them.

Some people want to be famous. Some people want recognition and honor. Some people want their name in bright lights and the adoration of fans. Me? I’d like to earn the respect of the people I admire, to have enough money never to have to think about it, and to lead a life worth leading.

I’m finding myself less and less precluded by a concern with offending people.

It’s not that I have a lot of offensive or controversial thoughts to share, but it’s interesting to view myself now as compared to the way I was when I had a job.

Everything came back to reputation, and the ultimate fear (in the back of my mind) was getting fired for some controversial act or statement.

That’s no way to live life.

Glad that’s over.

We make hundreds—if not thousands—of decisions every day. Many are inconsequential and are done without much conscious thought. Others require our rapt attention.

We all have goals that we’re trying to reach. And the decisions we make on a daily basis play a role in our trajectory towards said goals. Most people are reactive and address decisions on a case by case basis. This is fine, but often comes with some tradeoffs.

If you get request every week to have lunch or drinks with people—especially friends wanting to “pick your brain” about things and the like—you might consider carefully examining how much time this takes out of your day and how long it takes to get back to your work after.

I’ve had to cut down on the number of engagements I involve myself with during the week. It’s great to be social and meeting people is great, but what’s it worth in the big picture?