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Reminder to myself: successful people manage to get their important work done (growing the business, innovation, streamlining) every day in addition to dealing with the distractions that destroy a normal person’s productivity.

[h/t @w3edge]

Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldn’t, I don’t know.

What I try to take into consideration is my pride, risk, motivation, what the outcome actually looks like if I get what I want, and what the total cost of ownership for me “winning” is.

I don’t believe there’s a formula for determining when it’s best to fight for something, but life experience helps, as does being proactive about decision-making as opposed to letting things just happen (as a result of time running out).

As I transitioned from Atlanta-based freelancer to New York based freelancer-slash-Domino-Project-accomplice, I noticed my profile growing. From emails to tweets to comments made in person by new acquaintances, people uniformly considered me to be cooler than I was. It was great.

It also became apparent that I could capitalize on the attention to grow my profile at an even greater pace if desired. I was working for one of my heroes, after all! Seth-freaking-Godin! But I decided that I wanted to let my actual accomplishments speak for me rather than the fact that I had been picked.

Well. That’s part of it.

It was a conscious decision, yes, but not one that was solely rooted in modesty: I’m something of an introvert. Not a good one, mind you, as I enjoy and am comfortable with being on stage (literally and figuratively). But an introvert nonetheless, and I have a tendency to downplay things.

I don’t think there’s anything particularly noble about this, and there are certainly cases where unnecessary modesty can be a hinderance to progress. [Particularly in the case of first impressions in a business networking context, quickly demonstrating relevant value can mean the difference between winning a contract or just meeting another person whose name you instantly forgot.]

A friend of mine expressed some regret in not capitalizing on the attention thrust upon he and his wife when they received some national press for winning a contest. Had they jumped head first into the attention with the proper strategy, it probably would have changed their lives. There’s nothing wrong with a little celebrity.

On the other end of the spectrum is people who grow their profile aggressively.

Again, there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, but there are certainly ways to get it wrong. I’ve seen this a lot in New York where ambitious acquaintances would leave a trail of bruised feelings in their wake when friends felt used or stepped on/over or outgrown as the next level of success was reached. Not pretty.

I don’t think it’s practical to maintain close personal relationships with everyone you consider a friend, and I also think outgrowing some relationships is a sign of growth. But you do have to remain mindful of how your decisions impact your relationships and reputation, even if your position is indifference.

So again, this isn’t so much a right vs. wrong consideration so much as a series of decisions wherein the methods and motivation matter greatly.

It’s easy to get swept up in the current of the popular opinion. Ideas get passed and retweeted and shared through the social web with very little friction.

But while the majority of the idea-consuming masses race to present the latest regurgitated idea to those whose attention they hold, it’s our responsibility as thinkers and leaders to set the trends that get discussed.

We don’t do this for the sake of being talked about, we do it because we must. Who better than you?

When I observe the technologies and inventions that are moving industries forward, it’s evident that intense next-order critical thinking has taken place.

Your ideas might need to incubate and develop in a way that prevents you from publishing a quick tweet or status update about it, but that’s the point.

Pillars, not pebbles.

The difference between good writing and great writing is dramatic.

Putting together words on a page isn’t particularly challenging, but making words leap from a page and transporting the reader to the destination of your choice requires both a strong command of language and thousands of hours of practice.

I can tell when I’m in the flow of good writing because it feels less like tapping keys and more like playing an instrument. Ideas take shape and get chiseled into prose with what feels like effortless, dancing keystrokes. And the editing process feels less like work and more like polishing.

This isn’t to say that I’ve arrived as a writer, but I can certainly see improvement over the years. As a matter of fact, I cringe when reading some of my old posts so perhaps I’ve gone from abysmal to decent. Growth is growth, leave me alone.

Artists who have mastered their craft take the mechanics of their work and create an experience with it. Atop the mechanics sit passion and empathy and storytelling and taste and style.

Unnecessary elements are removed (or never get included) so once the finished product is shipped, the signal is clear and makes contact with the world in a powerful way.

Your taxi driver probably didn’t wake up envisioning life as someone who shuttled busy humans from destination to destination. It’s both possible that they fell into the job one day and stuck with it…or that they never dreamed of having the honor of meeting so many new people while earning a living wage. The point is that we don’t know.

The barista rolling their eyes at your fancy latte order might not just be another entitled millennial, they could be emotionally precluded from serving you because of issues at home. We don’t know if she’s working to put herself through community college and helping to supplement the income of a broken home and an injured guardian.

The customer interested in your product probably has very little interest in your product because you decided to use node.js and coffeescript, they might just be looking to increase their revenues in order to pay into their child’s college fund.

The Apple Store customer service representative did not wake up this morning determined to solve your problems, nor do they care that you’re spending money that you didn’t anticipate shelling out in order to obtain a replacement iPhone.

The person who fails to hold the elevator for you might not have seen you coming, and they certainly aren’t aware that you’re running late for an important meeting after getting a terrible night’s sleep.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
—?

No one really cares about what’s going on in your life, people are self-interested above all things. Once we accept this fact and develop a sensitivity to it, the better we can navigate interactions with other humans.

In college I used to read this book repeatedly, and it had a profound impact on both my academic and professional trajectory. I learned to speak and think in terms of what others wanted, and there were few doors that didn’t open for me as a result of it.

Cultivating this empathy informs everything from my sales copy to how I write here on the blog to how I make conversation with strangers. I don’t possess too many special talents but if there’s one skill I’ve tried to hone over the years that I’ve found to be valuable, it’s this.

I really can’t afford not to be good at this, and neither can you.

Much of my non-technical reading is geared towards personal improvement and expanding my thinking. Whenever there’s a lapse in my reading or habits that drive me forward, my awareness is re-awakened to the fact that there’s so much that I’m not doing.

This touches everything from how I’m communicating with customers to how I’m goal-setting to how I’m thinking about problems to how I relate to the world around me. There are emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual implications.

This brings me to the idea of my “resting rate of improvement” which predictably drops to zero when I fall out of the habit of [insert habit that moves me towards my goals].

And the point of all this is to 1) reach a level of progress and improvement below which I never fall and 2) reduce the likelihood that I fall off the horse in the first place.

[You could also make the case for a third item, which would be mitigating the impact of the second item, and how to lose as few cycles as possible in the interim.]

I purchased a smoothie from a street vendor near my office in NYC recently, as I often do. Strawberry, banana, pineapple, and blueberry. It was gonna be a good afternoon.

I handed over whatever ridiculous amount of capital it takes to purchase such a drink in New York, and the lady emerged after a moment with a wad of cash.

I was a bit irritated that she handed me a clump of bills in such disarray, but since you are required by law to be texting while walking anywhere, I had no choice but to stuff the bills in my pocket and deal with them later.

After all, I had a smoothie to drink.

That night, I unload the day’s detritus from my pockets and noticed that I had been given a $2 bill in the wad of cash I was handed. Imagine my delight! I hadn’t seen one in years, so I examined it closely.

Well. My delight quickly turned into anger, as I determined the bill to be an obvious counterfeit. It didn’t even feel like money! I spent the next day or so imagining sassy ways to return the bill to the lady, snarkily informing her of my findings. So that’s why she handed me the wad of cash like she did, I thought to myself. Hmph.

Above all, I was enraged at her audacity and short-sightedness. I had probably spent fifty dollars with her over the past few months and was becoming a regular. What does she gain by offloading a counterfeit bill to me? All bad.

I kept the bill without returning it (in part because I hadn’t decided on how to break the news to her, and in part because I wanted to write about it and possibly snap a decent pic once I had the proper lighting), and found myself thinking about it when grabbing dinner last week.

I pulled the bill from my wallet and asked the cashier if it was a counterfeit like I suspected. He informed me that it was actually authentic (and also imparted some knowledge that will be useful should I decide to enter into the money laundering business).

I was shocked. I had spent the last week railing on this woman in my mind, and ended up being completely wrong about my assumption. Humbling.

Humbling.

It’s not hard to understand what’s at stake when you refuse to realize your potential. Failing to awaken the greatness inside of you is a travesty and a remarkable waste of your talents. You get it.

Something similar with unexpectedly unpleasant consequences is starting down the path to your dreams but then chickening out mid-leap.

1. If you abandon an unfulfilling career to join the circus but stop short of auditioning for the trapeze artists position that you want and instead settle for something you feel more “qualified” for (balloon animal…engineer?), then you’ve missed the mark.
2. If you dream of starting your own business or passion project but allow fear and Resistance to convince you to offering services in the industry from which you defected, you’ve missed the mark. [Example: an associate at a law firm who quits to pursue painting, but ends up offering freelance legal services because it makes more sense and is easier to explain to the in-laws. “Hey, I still work for myself!”]
3. If you dream of working for a startup and settle for a biz dev position instead of User Unteraction lead because you don’t know jQuery and you’re ashamed to share your Photoshop comps to the hiring manager, you’ve missed the mark.

It’s also dangerous to start on the path of living your dreams and play by the rules that govern your former, safer life. There’s no sense in facing your fears for a season instead of becoming the kind of person who thrives in the face of calculated risk.

Being in the neighborhood of your dreams might feel like a victory, but if you’re going to spend the same number of years on the same planet on this plane of reality regardless, then why not give it all you’ve got?

The more I study life and success, the more it becomes apparent that the only battlefield we have in common is the mind. Bring it under subjection and the world is your oyster. Fail to develop a strong mental resilience, and it can be your undoing.

I’ve always loved the idea of doing the impossible. The phrase is perhaps a bit overused, but you have to be doing (or saying or thinking) something unreasonable in order to win. If you’re a heavyweight boxing champion, you might put it like this:

“Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

—Muhammad Ali

Sounds good to me.

[Shouts out to Les for bringing this quote to my attention today, and to Nicky for almost making me decide against publishing this post on account of his.]