Category: Uncategorized

The Indian restaurant that my apartment sits on top of is still proudly displaying an award received in 2005. They have a right to be proud, but it makes me wonder if the quality of the food and experience has deteriorated in the past eight years.

Has nothing remarkable taken place since then? Were the judges bribed with unlimited Mango Lassis that year? Was the 2006 batch of bribe drinks so awful that not even cheating could win them an award?

On a similar note: I sometimes review resumes for people who find them useful. Occasionally, I’ll see an award or distinction that’s the professional equivalent of saying “I was in the boy scouts and caught a fish one time!”

Cute, but cut it out.

If there’s nothing you’re proud of that has taken place in the past quarter or year and you’re not working on a product or project that will get you there, then what exactly is it that you’re doing?

…it will show.

My friend Ankit wants to work with Rap Genius. Clearly.

If they don’t hire him, someone will.

I’m currently being forced to enjoy an extended layover in Mexico on my way back to the states. I missed my connection on account of some astounding operational inefficiency here, but that’s another rant for another day.

As I was going through security following my arrival here (I guess they wanted to make sure that I hadn’t procured any explosives in the walk from one plane to another?), I was asked about the wines that were purchased in Argentina.

The gentleman wanted me to produce my receipt for the purchases and when I couldn’t find it after a quick look in my bag, he asked me if I wanted to search my other bags for it.

I told him no.

Him: “You don’t have time?”

Me: “I just don’t feel like it.”

I was tired of having my clothes and electronics rifled through, irritated about missing my initial connection, and of course ever-skeptical of the hoops we have to jump through in airports.

Interestingly, they let me go without another word about it. Security indeed.

Plot twist: there were alfajores in the wine box as well!

On the eve of my departure from Argentina, I’m reminded of how growth alone isn’t enough. Equally important is never falling past a certain point after progress has been made.

I’m shooting not only for new habits, but also for which a new level of progress below which I never fall.

Seeking out advice is seductive, because it feels like we’re making progress.

What we’re often doing, however, is trying to avoid deciding. More specifically, we try to avoid taking responsibility for a decision made that might end up embarrassing us. Feeling like a failure. Publicly ostracized.

In our noble quest to avoid deciding, we prioritize information-gathering, not failing, learning as much as we can, and all manner of good-sounding excuses that do nothing but prevent us from living the life we want.

What we should instead prioritize and value is courage, decisiveness, conviction, power, intent, resolve, and clarity. These things only come from being in the habit of both deciding and being willing to accept the result of what we decide. There’s no way around it.

My interests are many and varied. My friends and advisors and mentors know certain aspects of my character, but virtually no one understands how these things come together to form who I am.

My business partner doesn’t know that I write poetry, my musician friends don’t know (or care) that I build servers, my parents have no real idea what I do to make money, and only a handful of people know about my interest in improv, standup comedy, and singing.

Even if I took a week to explain everything about myself and my interests, you’d never understand what it felt like when I wrote this post or when I went on this trip or when I got off the plane five months ago (!) for my relocation to Argentina or why I sometimes work late into the night until my eyes burn.

And that’s fine.

But it means that I can never ask someone if I should attend conference x or move to country y or join club z. Not only do I disregard whatever feedback I’m given and do what I was going to do in the first place (you do it too, don’t front)…it’s both pointless and the manifestation of me trying to stall.

Courage isn’t developed in the shadows, nor are nerves of steel fortified behind closed doors. It happens on stage with your palms sweating while the voice of doubt in your head is the only thing louder than the applause of the crowd that you don’t notice because you’re petrified.

The fear is worse than the failure.

“Better late than never, but never late is better…” -Drake

This weekend, I had the pleasure of reporting to a customer that we were two days ahead of schedule and that we could launch early. They were thrilled at the news and I beamed when typing the message, irrespective of the response I anticipated.

I made a promise, kept it, and was ready to ship. Rah.

This isn’t the way every project goes, unfortunately. In one of my many roles (I know, I know…you have no idea what I do for a living. Join the club.), I implement technology solutions involving the software used to host websites.

On a good day, the only emails I get are from people wanting to throw money at me and telling me what a great job I did. Since I retired from exotic dancing, however, these “good days” are a rarity.

Instead, I often put out fires.

These vary in severity and frequency, but they always come. It’s just the nature of the beast. Because of this, how fast I get through my tasks changes…every day. Things typically blow up all at once, everywhere, so business hours during weekdays can get pretty exciting.

And by exciting, I mean an entire day can pass without me making meaningful progress on my important tasks. This is why it’s 10:30pm as I write this and I’m about to “go to work” 🙂

The point is, deadlines sometimes slip. It’s awful, I hate it, it’s preventable, and it still happens. I know. Don’t look at me like that.

Customers are generally gracious and understanding (most just want to be kept in the loop, few have deadlines that will end the world if missed) if you communicate properly, and for this I’m grateful.

But it’s still never fun to deliver a project late. It reflects poorly on me as a professional trying to build a reputation, reflects poorly on the mastery of my craft (if I were better at what I do, some fires would never happen), and reflects poorly on those who put their name on the line for me to be in the position I’m in.

Even if the deadline doesn’t matter and a final deliverable is received with a standing ovation, it still feels like I’m saying “Alright, here’s your broken promise — think of me next time you want to be disappointed!”

The best late can be is still late.

But shipping early is like delivering magic with a bow on it — few things compare.

More magic, coming right up.

iMessage didn’t initially ship with the ability to sync messages between devices. The result for many people is multiple conversation threads that remain unsynced.

For me, this was maddening.

I travel quite a bit a lot and I don’t always take every device with me, so the ability to have my discussions synced regardless of the device I’m chatting with my CEO on (for example) is critical.

Setting it up properly isn’t hard, but they key is twofold:

1. You must configure all devices to receive messages at the same number or email address
2. You must set “Start new conversations from:” to whichever number or address you selected for #1

That’s it.

For you visual types, here’s the step by step instructions with screenshots of my settings. My cell and alternate email addresses are redacted, terribly sorry. And shouts out to Frederick for helping me get this set up correctly in the first place.

iPhone
Settings > Messages > iMessage: on
Settings > Messages > Send & Receive > Start new conversations from: [email address you use across all devices]

iPad
Settings > Messages > iMessage: on
Settings > Messages > Send & Receive > Start new conversations from: [email address you use across all devices]

Mac OSX
Messages > Preferences > Apple ID > Enable this account: [checked]
Messages > Preferences > Start new conversations from: [email address you use across all devices]

I’ll never forget chatting with one of my friends about progress made after a year of working towards self-employment (having successfully made the transition). He expressed a bit of shock and I was surprised — I told him it’s what I wanted to do. His reply when I pointed this out?

“Yeah but most people say they’re going to do this and that. You actually did it.”

And he was right.

It’s not that I did something so remarkable, it’s that I did what I said I’d do.

I was talking to a friend the other night about how you outgrow certain relationships simply because they don’t progress in the direction of your goals. My mentor has been drilling this into me as well.

It isn’t to say that everyone in your life needs to inspire and motivate you, but you certainly can’t do the same thing you’ve always done if you’re serious about growth. How this is manifested in your life is up to you, but it’s never not true and it always matters.

The truth — and I’ve gotten to the point where I view this as neither sad nor upsetting but rather a fact of life — is that most people aren’t going to do what’s required in order to get where they say they want to be. And I think there are a few reasons for this.

Unsurprisingly, the biggest contributor is fear. It’s terrifying to stare opportunity in the face and imagine ourselves winning. What if we succeed? We could be judged by our peers! Who do we think we are? Opting out of a mundane existence and trying to be extraordinary? Sit back down!

One interesting group is the contingent that talks the talk but fools themselves into thinking that they’re living the life they imagine. You’ll see them on every #blogchat and retweeting posts and quotes from social media darlings, but when it comes to shipping the work that terrifies them and sharing their art with the world…crickets.

I don’t point this out to make fun of them, we all have a bit of self-delusion and fear that sabotages us. But it’s important to see things as they really are so we can learn from those who are actually showing up every day, slaying the dragon, and doing the work they were born to do.

It doesn’t matter in the end though, all that matters is what we decide to do.

“The question is, ‘What’s the main difference between a pro and an amateur?’ My answer: depth of commitment.”

-Stephen Pressfield

I’m no longer inclined to push people who don’t ask for my help or go out of my way to help someone who’s trying to find their way. It’s not that I’m any less willing or generous, it’s that 1) people who want to figure something out…will figure it out, and 2) it’s easy to confuse the amassing of tactics with the actual work when you’re stalling. The work is the work.

If you’ve never gone to bed hungry then you might not understand why some people work themselves to the point of exhaustion even once they’ve amassed significant financial resources.

If you’ve never experienced the satisfaction of learning a new skill for the sake of mastery and shipping a project that no one will ever notice or give you credit for, then you will never understand why some people work late into the night and toil on pet projects.

If you’ve never pushed yourself and done the best work of your life on something for reasons unrelated to pride and competition then you’ll never understand how some people can ignore others and show growth in what appears to be a vacuum.

If you’ve never experienced betrayal, heartbreak, jealousy, terror, and rage, then you might not relate to those who warm up to strangers slowly. It’s also possible that you never attended middle school.

And if you view people and events without developing an empathetic view of the world, then you are living life in black and white. The “real world” is strange, beautiful, unpredictable, and fascinating.

No new habits means no new outcomes.