Category: Career

This is a question that’s worth addressing, even if the answer is not made public.

The reason some people move through their careers a surgical focus is quite often because they have made a conscious decision about their career’s trajectory.

That is, by virtue of the fact that they’re moving with a particular goal in mind, they’re able to make strategic steps (and even sound decisions “on the fly”).

If you haven’t decided that you want to be the best at something, or that you want to be influential in your space, or that [insert a clearly defined and ambitious goal that you’d be thrilled to accomplish], then how can you make meaningful progress?

You will probably be just fine in the long run, but who wants to be “just fine?” Making it up as you go is a fine plan for some, but there are no laws against stacking the deck in

“I just wanted to be in engineering only – I never wanted to run a company, never wanted to run things, step on other people – Steve very clearly did, and wanted to be a top executive and a really important thinker in the world.”

“He was always focused on ‘if you can build things and sell them you can have a company’ and ‘the way you make money and importance in the world is with companies’,” Wozniak said. “He wanted to be one of those important people in the world.” (via)

– Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple

Because a life characterized by squandered potential doesn’t come from taking a decade to find yourself, nor does a career of excellence come from a refusal to take weekends off. It’s far more subtle.

The former comes from missed deadlines, a lack of accountability, and breaking promises to yourself. Refusal to take on challenging work here, shying away from fear there. Little by litte.

The latter comes from a commitment to winning habits, showing up every day, and facing the unknown with courage and conviction. An extra hour at the office here, the elimination of unproductive habits there. Little by little.

Sunday night is a great time to find out two things (assuming that you “go to work” on Monday morning):

1. If you’re genuinely excited about what you do for a living.
2. If you’ve set yourself up for a productive week (even if the first item is true).

Momentum is a powerful thing, and the energy you take into a new week is like your turn when bowling or making a play (good or bad) on a sports team.

If you do well, the positive energy flowing keeps you in a healthy mindset to continue doing the same. If you perform poorly, you’ll have a hard time recovering.

I remember when I was on a plane twice a week for work. Sunday night is when I would pack and consider the tasks for the day ahead: the mountain of email, the early morning flight, the weather where I was going (harsh winter, invariably…), and the fact that I didn’t enjoy the work.

As I’ve mentioned more than once, it resulted in me making some changes, with the worst of the culminating in multiple anxiety attacks one weekend.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

-Steve Jobs, 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

Your situation might be as dire as mine was, but reflecting on how you felt last night my be an indicator of — at the very least — some things that need to be tweaked.

Most people will not reach their full potential in life.

I don’t mean to be dramatic, this is just a fact. What’s more depressing is that many secretly live in despair, putting on a smile for others because there doesn’t appear to be a sounding board or support system for people like them.

People with great jobs and loving families and money and security…but a complete lack of fulfillment. When this described my life, I called going to work every day dying a thousand deaths. Well, that’s what I call it in retrospect.

If you haven’t experienced it, it’s hard to describe the sadness and hopelessness one feels when “stuck” in unfulfilling situations. There may be additional factors such as debt and prestige and trying to please others, but there’s no immediate danger such as, say, the risk of starving to death, being homeless, or becoming a saber-toothed tiger’s breakfast.

And so people feel foolish complaining. People come to work on Monday, log onto Twitter and talk about how fast the weekend went by and how much they’re looking forward to Friday. They feel ungrateful because “so many people would kill for their job.”

Bah.

You have one chance to get it right, and no one is going to fight for you if you don’t demand the happiness you deserve. Get angry, take action, and make the changes necessary to ensure your happiness (or as in my case, preserve your health and sanity).

It’s not too late, but it’s getting there.

Both my career and personal development (are these actually separate things?) have been immeasurably enriched by opportunities that came as a result of people taking a chance on me.

From the time when I was a clueless intern at an Convergys in 2005, to when I was a miserable consultant at Accenture in 2007, to when I was a wide-eyed student of the publishing industry at The Domino Project in 2011, the only way I got the chance to grow and learn and fail was by someone making a conscious decision to take a chance on me.

Advice for those who need opportunities: make the decision easy for others by mitigating their risk. Do the hard work of taking on challenges and responsibility and risk and certain death while you toil away in obscurity so that when the right opportunity comes knocking, you’ll be poised for primetime. That is, you’ll have failed enough when it didn’t matter to the point where you’re ready to fail (gracefully and catastrophically) on a much larger stage when actual budgets and reputations are on the line.

Advice for those in a position to grant an opportunity: don’t forget when the last paragraph applied to you.

*   *   *

To Mary, Charelle, Michael, Lynn, William, Fran, Morris, Sabrina, AJ, Tommie, Craig, Alexis, Naajia, Pam, Ishita, Seth, Fred, hundreds of clients, and everyone who advocates on my behalf without my knowledge, thanks for giving me a chance.

I fall short often, but I’m trying (very hard) not to let you down.

Everyone wants to be liked and accepted. Standing out in a crowd is terrifying, and the desire to fit in drives us to make many of the decisions we make with the way we dress and talk and live.

“Be nice,” we’re told. But no one volunteers instructions for the corresponding disposition in business and competition. I think a different set of expectations might be appropriate here.

Something I’ve noticed in business is that many CEOs and startup founders are not always “nice people.” Many are ruthless, temperamental, and downright angry. I don’t think it’s necessary to embody the extremes, but I do think a healthy dose of passion (even if it boils over at times) is alright.

Many of my friends are involved with projects (professional, recreational, or otherwise) that require some technical mastery. Some have set a goal to become more proficient with their craft during this past year. Several have succeeded, and others have spent the year expending a lot of energy on lateral motion without forward progress.

This post is a reminder for myself as well: maybe it’s time to see how much progress we can make in the next 30 days. If we can’t commit to that, why are we fooling ourselves about having the goal in the first place?

Almost a year ago to the day…

• I had just returned to Atlanta, GA after interviewing for The Domino Project in New York city, with the knowledge that I made the cut
• I had no idea where I would live, how to get around in NYC, or how I would pay my mortgage in Atlanta and cover housing costs in New York
• My world seemed alive with possibilities, and I was in no way concerned about the uncertainty of it all

So, the punch line: it all worked out. Better than I could have imagined. I sold my house, I’ve relocated to New York, and I’m challenged each and every day in the work that I do. As I’ve mentioned on many occasions, moving to NYC was a transformative experience that altered the trajectory of my career and my life.

I’m so incredibly grateful to Seth and my mentors and my clients and friends who have provided support this year as I stumbled and soared and failed and failed some more.

I’m especially grateful for a new perspective: if filling out a web form on a whim the day a submission is due results in a year like the one I’ve experienced…

…what adventures lie ahead now that I know how (and why) to fail?

And now…

I’m currently in a role (which I will address in detail at some point, I suppose) where I fail on a regular basis, painfully, publicly, and at the expense of my personal income. I have no choice but to push myself, set my emotions aside, and improve how I make high-stakes, gametime decisions every day.

There are been high-five worthy successes, and gut-wrenching disasters. Every week. And the only way out of the fire is by going through it, quickly. A younger and less focused version of myself would be tempted to quit or crack under the pressure (actually, this is true for the right-now me as well…), but something about the pain feels right, and I’ll keep plugging away and improving every day.

(there’s no cute ending here, sorry. hi mom?)

If you’re trying to earn the respect of an employer, you must divorce yourself from the idea that you’re not allowed to have an independent perspective on how the business is run. As companies grow larger and inefficiencies are magnified, you are actually doing your company a disservice by not speaking up when you spot something being done in a way that wastes precious time and resources.

If you’re trying to win the business of a prospective customer, one way to differentiate yourself from the competition is by highlighting your unique perspective on the marketplace. If your firm operates by principles like “SEO is evil” or “having Twitter and Facebook accounts are massive misappropriations of client resources” then speak up! It may be tempting to jump at every client request, but far more important in my mind is providing leadership with conviction.

The same is true in relationships. There’s the prevailing notion that women go after bad boys and athletes and musicians…but I think the attraction (which goes both ways) is a simple gravitation towards people who stand for something.

One of the reasons I quit my job last year is because the trajectory I was on became more and more divergent from the legacy I wanted to leave. I had no interest in climbing the corporate ladder, giving 18 years and three marriages to the corporate behemoth in exchange for a BMW convertible and big house, and most of all, I didn’t want the lifestyle that came with the corporate grind.

I didn’t want to be sitting around a Christmas tree 40 years from now with my kids and grandkids, wishing I had spent more time with them while I was toiling away for The Man™ and reflecting on my unfulfilled dreams, regretting I hadn’t tried harder when I was younger (and had nothing to lose).

And now that my goals are anchored by purpose, making tough decisions is a lot easier. I’ve accepted the fact that there will be tradeoffs right now while I’m hustling, and that it won’t always feel glamorous when I’m adopting the habits and mindset of a winner. And that’s the point.