Category: Life

If there’s a goal you have in mind and you’ve made no strides towards completion in say, six months, is it really a goal? And if the answer is yes, what are you waiting on exactly?

We have an idea of what we’d like to become and how we’d like to be viewed and what would be best for us, but all of this takes a backseat to what we’re actually willing to put in the work to accomplish.

I’m not sure that it’s natural to allow questions to resonate in the echo chamber of own solitude but after doing it enough times, it becomes a place for truth and clarity and direction.

This came up briefly during Domino, and I’ve been thinking about it recently.

Many (brilliant readers of this blog…) have been told by peers, parents, and educators (either directly or indirectly) that they possess higher than average intelligence. Advanced classes, high GPAs, and ambitious academic workloads seem to confirm what’s ascribed, so it sticks.

The trouble is that a lack of real academic challenge leads individuals to feel like little effort is required to succeed after college. Lazy patterns of thought develop, and a dangerous arrogance forms.

Most dangerous is how problems are not faced with:

• A genuine curiosity
• A patience with challenges that don’t have obvious solutions
• A willingness to fail
• Tenacity

…but most people act like it’ll happen tomorrow. Or maybe one day.

The trouble, as you know, is that one day never gets here. A week turns into a month, Resistance stomps out anything even resembling courage, and a life full of potential is squandered.

I’ve seen it myself, and I’ve only been truly awake for about a year.

The allure of tomorrow is seductive because it absolves us of the responsibility to act quickly and decisively. Your friends aren’t going to push you to do things that you need to be doing, in part because they don’t want the same responsibility, and in part because you haven’t shared your (scary) goals with them.

The road to doing what matters is littered with the souls of many who lost their nerve. Those who never started, and those who were afraid to stare into what’s possible and operate in the uncertainty of tomorrow.

Sadly, a “safe” existence is both an illusion and no way to live.

Writing the book, quitting the job, sticking it to the man, or picking up the phone to tell dad that you forgive him. It doesn’t matter what it is, the same war must be waged on fear.

As always, I’m rooting for you.

Shoving a business card in my hand within moments of meeting me is not networking.

Setting your posts to be automatically tweeted is not “utilizing social media.”

Spamming your address book about your startup is not marketing.

Offering me a flyer as I walk by is not event promotion.

Texting “how are things?” is not staying in touch.

You can do so much better.

It’s a simple promise to make yourself: never make decisions from a place of scarcity, fear, or desperation.

If you find yourself struggling with this constantly (or, say…more than once), then what’s needed is for you to ensure that you’re operating in abundance, courage, and strength.

How do you do this?

• Set goals that scare you
• Keep promises you make to yourself and others
• Hold yourself publicly accountable
• Do work that matters
• Avoid complacency

The rest takes care of itself (or becomes obvious).

I’m sure you know people who say things like this:

“I’m going to learn PHP this year.”

“I really need to lose some weight.”

“My new goal is $20,000 in revenue per month.”

(Not your friends of course, but perhaps people who look like your friends.)

The truth is that most people completely avoid the hard work of making changes by talking about the changes they’d like to make.

When I quit my job (as I told my friends I wanted to do) and started freelancing, one of my mentees acted as if I had called an audible and joined the circus.

When pressed (since my intention to quit was clear for months), he replied, “I know you said you were going to do it, but most people don’t do the things they say they’ll do.”

In an age of hype, over-promising, and under-delivering, simply following through on the things you say you’ll do becomes revolutionary.

Extremes often come to mind when being radically honest (someone spouse is cheating or you know fraud taking place within your company), but telling a stranger that they have toilet paper stuck to their shoe or declining an invitation because of a lack of interest (rather than a fabricated conflict) would serve everyone more frequently.

I’m more convinced than ever that how a person deals with (and prepares for) uncertainty and setback is an indicator of how effective they will be at their art and craft.

Some of us are naturally resilient and laid back, but this doesn’t mean that people who are naturally anxious and easily flustered can’t thrive under adverse circumstances — they just have to work harder at preparation and prevention.

I’ve been writing every day for a few months now. Despite my (very) small readership, I’m constantly amused when I hear of friends (and strangers) reading and sharing posts. I don’t write long posts, nor are the topics I deal with particularly complex or original.

But what I’m learning is that none of that matters.

We project meaning and context onto ideas based on the lens through which we view the world. So if something I say — however simplistic — moves someone closer to their goals or provides the push needed in their life, I’d be doing them a disservice by discounting the impact of what I share.

This of course applies to you, too.

So share.

Just as important as determining what you can’t afford to do…is realizing what you can’t afford not to do.

There was a time in my life when I lacked the sophistication to make this determination, but the lesson was profound once I understood its importance. On the issues that truly matter, knowing the difference is critical.