Dialing down the generosity

02/21/2012

When things don’t work out as we’d like them to, we react defensively and seek to prevent the same embarrassment and pain from happening again.

We put up walls, swear off risks and certain people, and become a little less brave every time it happens. When a similar situation presents itself again, we know exactly what to do!

We retreat.

Among the problems with this approach is that the terror of “something bad happening” is carried with us every day.

The bravery we lose in the face of adversity makes us less confident in many other areas, and the net effect of this defensive posture is emotionally debilitating in the long term.

I don’t have a “this is what you should do in these situations” admonishment, but what I think that the courage to lean into the pain is important.

Your posture towards failure and disappointment is just as important as everything else.