Category: Humans

When we think about honesty and courage and perseverance, we tend to picture the extremes: leaking a story about insider trading to the press, thwarting the attempts of a mugger to keep your girlfriend safe, and committing to mastering a skill by practicing for an hour every day, until the end of time.

Back here on earth, there are practical applications of these traits that matter just as much: telling a friend that attending UF is not the right decision, standing up for someone being publicly humiliated, and finishing the day’s task before taking a nap.

You’re faced with your own character and humanity when:

1. your boss isn’t watching
2. your kids are asleep
3. there are no cops on the road
4. no one is watching

I’m particularly interested in the idea of personal growth in a vacuum.

If no one is watching my work, will I do my best?

Do I maximize my productivity when I’m not needed in a meeting at 3pm?

Would I continue writing on this blog if no one read it?

Would I be committed to self-improvement if all signs pointed to my current state being “good enough?”

When you walk by a shirt that’s been knocked to the floor from a rack in a department store, do you:

1. pick it up?
2. pick it up if someone’s watching?
3. step over it and mutter “that’s not my job” to yourself?
4. fail to see the shirt at all?

Painting in unfairly broad strokes, based on completely unscientific observation, I’m of the mind that the situation above indicates how generous a person is: to the homeless, to servers and hostesses, to housekeeping at hotels, and to family members.

Some people look for opportunities to do good, others do it when they feel pressured to socially, and everyone else falls somewhere in between.

You’d be forgiven for thinking that what you say is what makes it into the mind of your intended recipient(s). The truth is that your statements become colored and tainted by a host of influences before entering into another person’s consciousness.

How this person feels about you, whether or not they know you, what they’ve come to expect from you (if anything), inflection (if they know what you sound like), trust, intent, and a number of other things — these filter your words in the subconscious before the first statement is processed.

So the wise marketer then doesn’t speak to express a point, he to speaks create an understanding within the mind of the person listening or reading. Once you develop this sensitivity, you can play to biases and skepticism and openness is a number of different ways.

There are ethical and perhaps slightly less ethical ways to do this, but that’s another post for another writer.

It’s easy to be tough, angry, sensitive, and mercurial—just move in whatever directions your emotions dictate, and selfishly disregard the consequences of your actions. Loved ones, relationships, and societal pressures (hopefully) teach us to bring these characteristics under control as we get older.

An even greater goal would be learning how to incorporate generosity, thoughtfulness, courage, kindness, and empathy into who we are. Becoming less awful would probably appreciated by our coworkers, but enriching the lives of those around us is far more rewarding.

Meet Zintathu.

She lost her parents when she was a child and was raised by her grandmother in a shack in South Africa. Through These Numbers Have Faces, she’s a 3rd year marketing student and empowered to become a leader in her community.

These Numbers Have Faces educates and empowers South African youth to ignite community transformation. Per their website:

Numbers, statistics, figures, and data are important ways to evaluate and measure complex issues like global poverty. But in terms of actually reducing it, we believe transforming statistics into human relationships to be one of the most effective and powerful steps forward. It’s nearly impossible to connect with someone around the world if they are only a number. But when those numbers are turned into real people, we can change the world.

If you click through and the message of the organization resonates with you, consider making a donation. Or if you’re just able to spread the word about the organization, that’s fine too.

Some people aren’t going to like you. Most times, cowards are content to gossip and quietly disparage your name in your absence. Word may or may not get back to you about this.

If you have a high profile, people may feel bold enough to confront you directly (or anonymously, if you “live” online). The purpose of the confrontation is to get a reaction, and it only feeds the beast to even acknowledge the attempts.

It seems a bit foolish to gratify those seeking to upset you by acknowledging their efforts, so I’d avoid feeding into it altogether. If this means that you have to keep a poker face until a kickboxing class where you blow off steam, then so be it.

Solving global hunger is important.

Also: bringing job opportunities to underserved demographics, finding a cure for cancer, and ending the depletion of natural resources. I’m all for changing the world.

But we can start by holding the door a stranger, saying “good morning” (and meaning it) with a smile to the Starbucks barista, and picking up the phone to catch up with an old friend every once in a while.

One habit I’ve tried to break since I became aware of it is saying things simply because it’s the appropriate for an exchange (e.g., “Hey, it’s great seeing you! We should get together some time!”). Many people do this, and that’s the very reason we should not.

When you consistently follow up on the things you pledge to do, it has two chief benefits: first, people will come to respect what you’re saying because your word (in their mind) is associated with action. Second, it forces you to be present and aware during exchanges instead of spouting off whatever is expected or commonplace.

Neil Strauss (one of my favorite marketers) wrote about a similar topic recently on a newsletter blast in the context of keeping friends, but I think the mindset is of course broadly applicable and increases the meaningfulness of our interactions across the board.

I really like Tom’s idea about calling 50 people who supported you this year.

As with the power of a handwritten thank you note (as compared to an email or text message), personal interactions like this enrich our relationships and inject warmth into the (sometimes impersonal and mechanical) routines of our colleagues.